


When The Sun Rises We Fall In Love

by Cairdeaslight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Flirting, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes in a bun, Clint and Natasha are only mentioned most of the time, Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Loss, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not really enemies in the beginning but also not really friends, Past Brainwashing, Past Relationship(s), Sam Wilson Needs a Hug, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Survivor Guilt, They need to get their shit together, kind of, mentions of HYDRA, poor Sam Bucky drives him insane, training together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cairdeaslight/pseuds/Cairdeaslight
Summary: His patience finally came to an end, when, after three hours of having sat in the mud waiting for Hydra agents that didn’t show up and then returning to the small car, Bucky put on this way too curious, confused look and said: “Hey, Sam. Who’s Riley?”He had likely overheard the name or saw it in a report. But still, it was too much.“Okay, this is it”, Sam whispered, eyes closed.**When Bucky and Sam have to stay at a farmhouse together, strange things ensue - and they might even fall in love.





	When The Sun Rises We Fall In Love

It was only the second day and Sam already regretted having agreed to this.  
When Steve talked about the mission, it sounded like a lot of punching Hydra agents in the face; and honestly, after all he had to go through because of these motherfuckers, it was the most fun thing he could imagine.  
What he didn’t realize was that going on this trip also meant having to share a tiny car with Steve, Nat, Clint and, worst of all, Bucky Barnes. The ex-assassin had been put of cyro permanently and had tried picking up bits of his life again. This meant following Steve everywhere he went and annoyingly enough, it also often meant following Sam around as well.  
Sam was fine with Clint. He was a decent guy who didn’t ask too many questions and after a few rounds of beer in a time that felt like it was centuries away, they had become more comfortable around each other.  
And while Nat definitely still scared him a bit (alright, more than a bit), he liked her a lot and they had become good friends.  
The only problem in this whole situation was Bucky freaking Barnes. He still had this brooding expression on his face all the time, but in reality he was _so annoying_ He kept asking Sam (and no one else) questions about almost everything: His wings, tv shows he apparently watched in Wakanda, what Sam thought the chocolate he was about to try tasted like (“I don't know, how about you just look at the _fucking wrapping_ ”) and everything else that came to his mind on the trip. He also made a lot of bird puns. And while Clint was pretty amused and impressed by them and joined in occasionally, Sam _hated them_. 

His patience finally came to an end, when, after three hours of having sat in the mud waiting for Hydra agents that didn’t show up and then returning to the small car, Bucky put on this way to curious, confused look and said: “Hey, Sam. Who’s Riley?”  
He had likely overheard the name or saw it in a report. But still, it was too much.  
“Okay, this is it”, Sam whispered, eyes closed. Nat and Steve were silent, Clint was a few feet away making a call. “Steve, I’m sitting shotgun when we start driving again. I won’t be able to sit next to him one more minute.”  
Steve opened his mouth, looking a little pained like always when Sam and Bucky started arguing, but he knew Sam was right. He had to know – he was the first person in a long time Sam had told about Riley. His partner, his best friend, his _boyfriend_. The one he couldn't save.  
And judging by Nat’s look, she had put all of it together in the amazing way she always did. Barnes was the only one looking so confused and taken aback, which almost made Sam feel a little sorry for what he said, but he was just too angry to really regret it.  
“Alright”, Steve answered, “Buck, I’m sitting next to you.”

 

The farmhouse was amazing. By which Sam meant that they had more than one bed and clean air, things he had gotten used to not having on their previous journey. 

“I call dibs on the room with the balcony”, Sam exclaimed. He knew that he acted like a child, but _damn he deserved this_. They unpacked the maps and mission stuff on the big table in the living room. “Alright, guys. Nat”, Steve said with a nod to the former redhead, that had dyed her hair blond for undercover reasons and stood across from Sam. “You and Clint are going to try and get a track on those Hydra agents in the next days. For as long as we stay here, we’re officially Tourists from Manchester that want to see Paris. We are trying to get as few attention as possible.”

Sam knew the details of the plan as they had discussed them for the last few days. Not any conspicuous behavior or else they would have the whole world on their back as soon as some guy who recognized them tweeted a picture or something. Sam kind of expected it to play out that way; they had had a way to peaceful trip before. If it wasn’t for the occasional taking out Hydra agents and faking IDs, it would have been a road trip with friends through Europe. No superhero stuff. 

 

Except that, if he would do a road trip through Europe, Sam would do it with people he liked and not ones that provoked him to just start screaming every two minutes. Like Bucky freaking Barnes.  
He groaned as he entered the room he had chosen for himself and was faced with the other mans backside.  
“Are you shitting me, Barnes?”  
Bucky turned around and his gaze flickered from Sam to the bags he had just dropped next to him. His brain seemed to make a conclusion. “Oh...sorry. Steve said…never mind, I will take one of the other rooms.”  
Sam said nothing. When Bucky walked by him with hunched shoulders, not looking at him, he almost felt a little bad. Almost.  
But the feeling just didn’t seem to leave, following him the whole time he unpacked his things and sorted them into the closet. And it certainly didn’t get better when, half an hour later it knocked and Steve came through the door. Sam saw in his face what he was about to say and he was right.  
“Bucky doesn’t mean it like that when he asks all these questions, you know. He’s just...”  
“I know”, Sam cut him off, “I know he doesn’t mean it.”  
He did. He also knew that he was sometimes being unnecessarily mean to the ex-assassin. But him asking questions about Riley felt like someone twisted a knife in Sams guts. Or shot him and made him fall out of the sky.  
“I’ll try and be nicer”, he promised Steve, not knowing whether he could fulfill that promise.  
Steve smiled relieved. “Thanks, Sam.”  
“Sure.”

**

Barnes made it really hard for him. Wherever Sam went, he just seemed to be there. Sometimes he appeared out of the shadows, like the super assassin he was and scared the hell out of Sam. More than that, he seemed to eat three times as much as him. If it had been hard to put up with Steve's superhero metabolism, Bucky’s was the absolute hell. 

“You can’t tell me you have eaten all of the scrambled eggs for breakfast. I went grocery shopping yesterday and it was supposed to keep us fed for at least a week. Now it’s probably one more day, at most.”  
Barnes shrugged innocently. “Sorry?”  
Sam rolled his eyes. “At least you didn’t eat my pie.”  
Barnes mouth fell shut before he opened it again.  
“Actually -  
“ _Seriously_ , Barnes?” Sam groaned. This was getting worse and worse every day. As if he sensed the tension in the kitchen, Steve came into the room. His glance went from Sam to Bucky and his eyebrows of disappointment, like Sam and Nat liked to call them, appeared on his face.  
“He ate my pie”, Sam said defensively and felt like he was bickering to his mother about his siblings.  
Steve sighed. “Actually, I wanted to tell you two that I’m going to be out of town for awhile. It seems like T’Challa is working on a change in the Accords, that will allow us to set foot in the US again as free men.”  
Part of Sam was delighted to hear those news. If T’Challa really could help them, it would mean no more hiding and living in crappy places and he would get to see his family again. On the other hand, Steve leaving to go off on missions would mean he and Barnes were alone in the farmhouse. 

Steve seemed to have had the same thought. “Now, can I trust you two to not kill each other in the meantime?”  
Sam glared at Barnes.  
Barnes glared at him.  
“Sure, Cap”, Sam eventually said, breaking the silence and forced a smile. Steve nodded to him and then he and Barnes shared a look that seemed to replace all dialog. It was a thing just the two of them were capable of.  
“I’ll keep you updated”, Steve said. He left the kitchen and Sam heard the front door falling shut a few seconds later. His glance met with Barnes.  
“Great”, he murmured, “just great.” Then he stormed off. Hopefully he could just sit this out until one of the others was back. 

**  
He hadn’t heard of Barnes all day, which wasn’t really surprising. The guy could move around without making a sound, and most of the time he just sat around in his room anyway, reading or something. The most he had heard him talk was either with Steve – mumbled words and rare laughter – or with Natasha, with who he talked in a mix of Russian, English and sometimes other languages thrown in. He knew that they shared a certain part of their past. He wondered, for a moment, how deep their bond had been as the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow, as _James_ and _Natalia_ , as they called each other.  
“Sam?”  
Sam startled. “For Gods sake, don’t creep on me like that!” He sat up from the place on his bed he’d lied down on.  
Barnes, who stood in the door frame, bit his lip and _blushed_. Sam found himself staring for a bit too long. Fascinating. “Sorry”, the former Winter Soldier said. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I just...” He raised his metallic arm and showed Sam a plastic bag. “got you some pie. Because I ate yours. Don’t know if it’s the one you wanted, though.”

Surprised, Sam took the bag and stared at it.  
“And I’m sorry”, Barnes blurted out so fast that Sam almost didn’t hear the words. “you know, for asking you all these things. And eating your food. And annoying you all the time.” His blush had grown immensely. 

Sam nodded, trying to process the words. He looked into the plastic bags. It was a small cake, similar to the one he had bought before – but with walnuts in it. “I’m allergic to walnuts”, he said, only realizing a second later that he sounded like an absolute asshole. Barnes was here and tried to apologize and bought him a cake and _blushed like crazy_ – and he told him that he was allergic to fucking walnuts.  
“Oh”, Barnes answered, “I can go and buy you a new one, you know -  
“No. Hey, sorry, didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Thank you for the cake. And the apology. It’s alright, really. I’m used to super soldiers eating all my food.”  
He smiled and Barnes returned it.  
“I’ll – go and take a shower”, he said awkwardly and Sam nodded. Barnes left as silent as he had come and Sam was left alone again.  
He looked at the cake in his hands. This meant that Barnes had gone out and actually made the effort to look for a pie like the one he had eaten. He knew that the other man hated going shopping. Sam guessed it made him uncomfortable when people were looking at him – because of the missing arm, because they suspected that they had seen him before somewhere. The more surprising it was that he had done it for him.  
Maybe he could try being nicer to him – maybe he could even try being friends. 

His phone buzzed and it was a text from Steve.  
_It’s looking good, but seems like I’ll have to stay for at least a week_ , it said, _How is it going?_

 _Sounds great_ , Sam answers, _we‘re doing well_. 

**

They were. Sam tried to analyze the information Clint and Natasha send to him about the Hydra base in the city and Barnes helped him with his inside knowledge on the organization. They made a pretty good team.  
When they didn’t have anything to do, they played their non-attention-seeking-tourist part.  
Some days they went out and discovered Paris – mostly in the mornings because they both woke up early and Bucky didn’t like the crowds middays. Most days, though, they stayed at home, went for a run maybe. Bucky was a more considerate running partner than Steve, at least until he got bored of the tempo Sam kept, then he literally made Sam eat dust and disappeared into the rising sun.  
Afterwards they silently spent breakfast together. Sam bought bread rolls in the bakery next door and Bucky peeled some peaches with surprising gentleness (They had a long debate about whether peeling peaches was necessary which Sam gave into in the end). Sometimes Bucky wore his hair in a little bun which he had to admit looked really good on him. Like everything did. It was ridiculously peaceful and domestic.

Sure, there was still bickering and Bucky was a little shit who ate all of Sams favorite food and used up all his shampoo (not that Sam minded it that much, Buckys’ hair could use some shampoo. It definitely hadn’t anything to do with the fact that it looked super fluffy and soft after showering and that Bucky _smelled fucking great_. Not at all.)  
But something had changed and Sam greeted it with open arms. Even Bucky seemed to be more relaxed and smiled more often than in the last months. Looked like some time off the field helped him.  
One day they even trained together, down in the basement of their farmhouse. Bucky had been worried that he might seriously hurt Sam with his metal arm in a training fight, but Sam had reassured him that he could take it.  
It was really interesting to fight with the Winter Soldier when he was not trying to kill him. He moved surprisingly quickly and easy for a man his size and his fight moves were impressive. Sam had to take all he had to hold up against Bucky and even then he was pretty sure Bucky was holding back. The fact that, after some sessions, he took his shirt off and trained just in his sweatpants, where Sams hand constantly had to touch his bare skin, totally didn’t distract him. 

Sam was a counselor to veterans, he should have known that it wouldn’t be that easy. But he had thought that Bucky was on a good way. Reality caught up with him one night when he was woken up by a loud, panicked scream. It took Sam only seconds to grab his gun next to his nightstand an sprint to Buckys room. When he banged the door in, there was no intruder or anything.  
It was just Bucky. He had thrown his blanket off and his blank chest raised and lowered itself quickly, covered in sweat. His eyes were closed, but out of his mouth came wheezes and screams. “Please, _don‘t_ – not again, _pelase_ ”  
Sam dropped his gun on a table next to him and knelt down next to the bed. Carefully, he began to stroke his am – not the stump, but the right one. If he dreamed about Hydra, he probably wouldn’t want to be touched in the place they experienced with most.  
“It’s just me”, he whispered, “It’s alright, Bucky.”  
He laid another hand on his chest, on the spot where his heart beat fast. Sams touch seemed to help and the heartbeat slowed down, his breath adjusted. Bucky murmured something that sounded like Russian and it send chills down Sams spine. Sometimes he forgot that the guy who peeled peaches because he didn’t like the skin was the same guy who had been brainwashed into killing an endless amount people for a Nazi organization and had been through a lot of really bad shit.

He stood up but before he could leave silently Bucks hand grabbed his arm. The touch wasn’t threatening, but needing and desperate. “Stay.” The words passed over his lips so quietly that Sam almost didn’t hear them. But he did. And so he stayed. 

At fist it was awkward, climbing into the spot next to Bucky in the bed and trying to adjust to the position. He could feel the heat radiating from the other man (likely a result of the super soldier serum) and silently watched his still form. There was still sweat glistering on his chest and his stomach and streaks from his hair fell into his face. Sam absorbed the view: Buckys lips were slightly parted and his jawline was still a bit clenched. From his neck down strong muscles showed on his arms, chest and abdomen. He was the kind of person that stopped you in your tracks because there were just _so beautiful_. When his eyes went up to Buckys face again, his glare was caught by a pair of mesmerizing blue hearts. His heart stopped beating for a bit before it continued twice as fast.  
But Bucky just groaned sleepily and rolled his eyes. “For fucks sake, just go to sleep. We got work to do tomorrow.”  
Sam didn’t wait to be told twice. He turned around, his face still burning from the embarrassment, and buried it into the pillow next to him.  
He almost thought Bucky had went to sleep again when he heard his voice once again. “Don’t you wanna scoot over a little and cuddle?”  
“Fuck you Barnes”, he murmured. He was _never_ going to get over this.  
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you would like that.”  
Sam groaned and the little shit next to him that was the reason he was even here had the nerve to laugh.  
A few minutes later, when Sam was half asleep, he noticed the slightest touch of Buckys body against his back and, not sure which one of them had been the one to break the distance intuitively, settled into the position. Barely noticeable Bucky rested his arm on Sams hip and and his warm breath created goosebumps on Sams neck.  
It was enough to send him into the world of dreams two minutes later. 

**

The first thing Sam noticed when he woke up was the tight touch around his waist. He needed some seconds to orientate himself and instinctively grabbed for his gun before he realized that he wasn’t in his own room. It was Buckys’.  
And it was Bucky laying next to him, an arm around Sams waist and an leg between his. His face was buried into Sams neck and his hair tingled Sams jawline. Both of them just in their boxers. He didn’t dare to breath. If Bucky woke up, this was going to be _incredibly_ awkward.  
Luckily, the other man was still asleep. Still, his heart beat faster than normally and his breath had fastened. When he let his eyes wander down, there was an unmistakable bulge in his boxers. Oh. _Oh._. 

Sam pressed his lips together and hid a surprised sound, when the hand on his waist ( _Buckys hand_ hand) began to wander; up and down, discovering his chest and grazing over his abdomen, down to the hem of his boxers. Sam held his breath when Buckys fingernails scratched over the fabric and his own hardness grew visibly.  
He winced quietly when the leg between his own pressed against his hardened cock and began to intimate the motion of moving up and down.  
The hand over his boxer shorts stopped suddenly and was pulled away. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”  
Buckys voice was raspy and deep and so smudge. Sam thought _fuck fuck fuck_ and _fuck me fuck me fuck me_.  
He looked up and like he had read his thoughts, the lips that lied in the curve of his neck, suddenly met with his. Sam hadn’t kissed a man since Riley and it felt good, it felt so damn good...until Bucky pulled away and the taste of his mouth left Sam.  
His brain was fucking melted away. There was nothing left. Bucky gave him a half smile and stood up, pulling his leg away. “Uh...I’m gonna go and take a shower”, he mentioned like there had been nothing and walked away. Unashamed Sam stared at his ass before Bucky left the room. A few seconds he just stayed at the closed door in perplexed aw. Then he buried his face in the blanket and huffed out a frustrated breath. _What the fuck, Barnes_?

**

The past two weeks Sam had looked forward to Steves return. But when he arrived two hours after the _incident_ (which was what Sam referred to it in his mind), Sam wished it had at least taken a day longer.  
Now there was someone else in the house and all that had been, all that could possibly be, was gone. No more breakfast with Bucky peeling his stupid peaches and Sam complaining. No more going shopping in the morning hours; and if they went running, it was always the three of them. 

Not that Steve bothered Sam in any way, it was just the lack of closeness and togetherness that had existed while it was just him and Bucky. If he didn’t know better, he would say that Bucky was avoiding him. There was hardly an occasion where it was just the two of them in a room and he never spoke of _that night_.  
There were just some moments, stolen glances and casual touches that reminded of the fact that _something_ happened; like their last morning in Paris. 

Sam didn’t think it was noticeable that something went down between them (kind of), but apparently he was wrong. One morning, when it was just him and Steve running around the block because Bucky was occupied with some tricky part of the information from Clint and Nat, the super soldier stopped so suddenly in his track that Sam almost ran into his back.  
He turned around to face Sams, arms crossed and in a ridiculous way he reminded him of his mum when she was going to lecture him. Which made him just the slightest bit nervous.  
“Whats going on with you and Bucky?”  
Sam opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again. “What do you mean?”  
Steve rolled his eyes. “I may be 99, but I’m not blind.”  
Sam thought about playing dumb, but something told him that it wasn’t going to work. “Well...when you were away, there were some things that happened. I mean, not really things, just...we didn’t have sex or something like that, I don’t want you to think that it was some big kind of thing. Not that I know what you think….”

If he had to give Steve one thing, he was a great listener. After Sam had stopped stumbling over his own words, he had tried telling the whole story from beginning to start. And Steve listened. After he was finished (he had left out a big part of the waking-up-in-a-bed-together-story), Steve had smiled and said: “You know what I think? I think you’re both idiots and really need to get it together.”

And then he had clapped Sam on the shoulder and left him in the dust. _Wow, thanks super asshole. Great help._

Even if Sam would have taken Steves advise, there was barely any time left for something like this. Clint and Nat had gathered the last bit of information they had gotten their fingers on and would leave the city in the next morning. The rest of them was going meet them in Nizza where they would take the plane to the US as free men. 

“Still seems weird.”  
“Hm?”  
Sam startled a little bit like always when Bucky entered the room so silently. The colors of the rising sun shone through the big window. He had his hair in that ridiculous good-looking bun again. They were alone. Surprisingly it wasn’t uncomfortable or weird or anything. Like the words standing between them didn’t need to be spoken right now.  
“Going back home. Like, for real. I don’t think I have been really home for 70 years.”  
Sam thought about it – Bucky had been turned into a weapon by Hydra in the 40’s and had stayed that way until Steve had decided to rescue his best friend. Sam wondered what he would have done if it was Riley who turned out to be the Winter Soldier. The thought hurt too much, so he tried to put it away. And after all that – Bucky hadn’t been truly home, either. Always on the run, from people who wanted him dead or imprisoned and from part of himself.  
“How was it back then”, he heard himself ask.  
“What, Brooklyn?”  
Sam smiled at the certainty in Buckys voice that home meant Brooklyn. After all this time.  
“Just...life in general.”  
A rare smile appeared on Buckys lips. “It was more...living in the present. Taking chances. Everyone was aching for changing _something_. Opportunities to do and reach something great were rare, so we took them.”  
“Like Steve.”  
Bucky laughed. “Yeah, like Steve. He always wanted to do _more_. Didn’t matter if anyone else believed in him or not.”  
“And you? How were you?”  
Before he could think about whether the question was too personal, it had slipped out of his mouth.  
Fine crinkles appeared on Buckys forehead. “I was...different, I guess. More optimistic. Always occupied with keeping Steve alive. But I also couldn’t always be myself. Some things were….not really accepted back then like they are now.”  
Sam felt like this was getting more intimate than it was supposed do but he didn’t stop Bucky.  
“I always wanted to visit Paris, though.” A smile spread across Buckys face. “Or Europe in general. We could never travel much, didn’t have enough money at the time. But I always dreamed of it. And about the future. Mine and the future of everyone. How the world would look like in a hundred years. Didn’t ever think I would be here to see it.”  
He seemed to get lost in thoughts and Sam didn’t want to interrupt them. So he waited awhile and sat with Bucky in silence before he spoke again.  
“You know, there’s a really nice bar a few streets from here. And we’ve still got plenty of time in the evening.”  
“Are you asking me out, Wilson?”  
Sam smirked nervously. “Depends. Also, it’s Sam.”  
“Hm?”  
“My name.”  
“Yeah, but you keep calling me Barnes, so I figured I would do the same.”  
“I don’t”, Sam responded a bit defensively.  
“You totally do.”  
“I haven’t thought of you as Barnes for a really long time.” When he thought about it, the other man had been Bucky ever since he had apologized and Sam had finally seen that other side of him.  
“Still have called me that, though.”  
“Okay, sorry _Bucky_ ”, Sam replied and emphasized the name playfully.  
Bucky tilted his head a little and smiled. “Sounds good, when you say it.” The words sent down a shiver down Sams spine. The urge to kiss him right now was overwhelming, but Sam held himself together. It didn’t feel like the right time. 

**

The bar was pretty full in the evening hours, so they searched for a less crammed corner and sat down on a table. Sam watched Buckys eyes glancing around the bar.  
“They won’t recognize you here”, he reassured him.  
Besides the fact that most people outside of the US didn’t really know what the Winter Soldier looked like, Bucky was nowhere close to that cold assassin look. He was wearing jeans and a plain gray shirt under a leather jacket. His hair was still in a bun and if someone were to recognize him as an assassin, he would look like the softest and most beautiful assassin in the world.  
Wow, Sam _really_ needed to stop with the drooling.  
“I’m gonna get us something to drink”, he said and stood up.  
“You know I can’t get drunk, right?”  
Sam smirked. “What a shame.”

He turned around and went away to the bar. After he had ordered the drinks and was on his way back to the table, he saw something that worsened his mood. There were two girls at the table with Bucky who were handing him something and giggling. He told them something with a small smile on his face and they went away.  
“You’re having fun?”  
Bucky looked up, a bit surprised. “Nah, not yet”, he replied, cocking his head and taking the drink Sam handed him.  
Wow. Great. Now he had probably made out a time for a hookup with the girls.  
Sam didn’t know why this put him in such a bad mood (okay, he knew it but he didn’t really want to admit it), but he couldn’t shake the feeling off.  
He sat down at the table and tried to forget about it. They slipped into a conversation pretty easy as usual but something was really off about all of it. There was an undeniable tension lying in the air and Sam was almost relieved when, half an hour into the conversation, Steve called him and he excused himself to talk to the guy.  
The air on the outside was cold and Sam shivered as he put the phone to his ear.  
“Sorry to interrupt you”, Steve said, “just wanted to tell you we got another lead on the rest of the Hydra agents. Seems like they have a base pretty close to here. We might need to stay another day until we’re sure we got them all.”  
“Sure”, Sam answered and his breath took on form in the cold air. “Anything else? You need us to come?”  
“No, no, it’s fine. You just stay where you are, we’re going to deal with it tomorrow.”  
There was a small pause and Sam could _hear_ Steve smirking. “How is it going?”  
“There is – there’s nothing.”  
“Sure.”  
“Stop that.”  
“What?”  
“What you’re doing, stop it.”  
Steve laughed. “Sure thing, Sam. Enjoy your date.”  
Before Sam could answer him, Steve had hung up. He let out a frustrated huff. 

“What did he want?”  
Buckys voice made him jump. How did this guy even come up to him without Sam noticing? It was like he was just flying through the air instead of walking.  
“Just...some other Hydra agents we need to go after tomorrow.”  
“Do we need to go?”  
“No, we don’t have to. Don’t worry, you can still hook up with those girls.” Sam was surprised with how bitter the words come out.  
There was a moment of silence, then Bucky busted out: “Are you _serious_ , Sam?”  
Confused Sam looked up. “But -  
“They tried to give me their numbers, I told them I’m not interested. That was it. Is this what you were acting weird over the whole evening?”  
He sounded almost angry.  
“I was acting weird? Says the one who’s been avoiding me all damn week?” He had raised his voice and a few teenagers walking by looked at them, but Sam didn’t care. He hadn’t noticed how close he had been getting to Bucky. If he just stepped forward. “Seriously, just go and fuck those girls. I don’t care. I mean, Steve always talked about how much of a flirt you were back then, why don’t try your luck now?”  
He wished Bucky would say something. But instead he looked at Sam so fucking distant and hurt that he already regretted what he had said.  
“Oh fuck it”, Sam said. He wasn’t going to chase Bucky or let Bucky chase him. He was tired of this. Y _You are both idiots and need to get it together_ , Steves voice said in his head. In one step he pushed Bucky against the wall and crashed his own lips against his. Bucky surrendered more willingly than Sam would have thought, he practically ached for the touch. When they had first kissed, there had been unsureness and curiosity, now Sam knew what he wanted. They kissed until both of them were out breath and broke the contact for a bit. Bucky had completely melted away in his arms.  
His eyes were big and shiny and he looked so desperate that it was hard for Sam to not just kiss him again. “Fucking finally”, he murmured and let out a little moan when Sam pinned him against the wall again.  
“So thats what you like, right?”, he said, gasping for air, “being pushed around.” 

It was kind of amusing that a man like Bucky Barnes, former Winter Soldier, liked to be handled roughly. But, if Sam thought about, no real surprise at all. He could have that dangerous glint in his eyes when he flirted, let Sam chase him and know what he did all he want, but _this_ was what turned him on. 

It was a short way to their house, but each minute seemed to long for Sam. Finally, when they had entered the house, their lips met again and they kissed walking up to Sams bedroom all the way like stupid school kids.  
He feels Buckys tongue inside his mouth and suddenly he knew that this was what he wanted. What he had wanted all along and what he would never stop wanting.  
Buckys knees met with the border of his bed and gave in to it. Their lips separated for a moment and Sam couldn’t help but stare. Buckys bun was loose and single strings of hair were pulled out from it. His lips were red and big from all the kissing and there was that needing glint again in his eyes.  
“Tell me when you want me to stop”, Sam whispered, forehead leaned against Buckys, but Bucky pushed his mouth against Sams and that was all he needed to stay.  
“I don’t want you to stop”, he moaned between kisses, “not ever.”  
“Good”, Sam murmured and his hands began to wander, discovering every inch of that beautiful body. Buckys skin was hot and his hips leaned towards Sam desperately when his fingers brushed over his side. There was too much fabric between them, too many clothes in the way. Bucky had lost his jacket on the way in, but there was still the shirt on him and Sam carelessly pulled it over his head with Buckys help. He had seen Bucky shirtless before, when they trained or when he woke up from the nightmare, but not like _this_. Not with Bucky desperately leaning up to him and _wanting_ him. 

Sams shirt was out of the way of their tangled bodies soon as well and now there was just skin on skin. Bucky drove him crazy. He really did. The way his tongue settled on Sams cock as soon as he had pulled his pants and underpants of, experienced and so fucking obedient, made him moan out loud. His fingers settled in Buckys destroyed bun and he enjoyed the sensation when the other mans began to stroke up and down.  
_Fuck_. He felt himself being close to coming and warned Bucky with a pull of his hair. But the guy beneath him didn’t pull away, instead he kept his mouth in Sams cock and waited bravely, looking up to Sam under long, dark lashes. 

After Sam had come into Buckys mouth, he pulled away and sat down on Buckys lap, who, more than willingly, made place for him and scouted in the right position where he laid down on the bed, leaning on his elbows.  
He kissed Bucky again and again and sucked the skin on his prominent jaw before his lips began wandering deeper. When Buckys body tensed up for a split second under his hands he hesitated and looked up to him. Bucky had his eyes closed, but he opened them when Sam stopped.  
“You alright?”  
Bucky seemed to search for words, his mouth slightly opened. Then he said: “Yeah, it’s just...I guess it’s hard for me to enjoy things. For myself, you know? Still feel like I don’t really deserve it.”  
Sam prompted himself up on his elbows. “You do. You deserve nice things, Bucky.”  
Bucky smiled weakly. “I know. Or I think I know. But even before everything...things were different. I would have never allowed myself to show that part of myself to someone.”

Sam knew what he meant – being gay in men had been hell in the 40’s. Even now a lot of people were harassed for their sexuality and didn’t have an easy time. But compared to seventy years ago, Bucky must feel like he’s on a different planet. “Is it different for you now?”, he asks.  
Bucky shruged. “Kind of. I mean, society is different. Expectations are. I am. In some way at least. But it’s still hard do just...stop having to hide and feel wrong.”  
Sam nodded. “I understand that.” He hesitated before he asked another question. “Since you’re living in this century...has there been anyone? A man?”  
Bucky smiled and tilted his head. “Not until tonight.”  
Sam returned the smile. “We don’t have to go on, if you’re not comfortable though. I’m fine with that.”  
Bucky slid closer and kissed him again. This time it was slower, more emotional and deeper. When he slipped away, his eyes were still closed and his hands cupped Sams face. “I am. And I want to. I don’t think there’s been something I wanted more ever since I’m me again.”

That broke the last barrier. Their mouths and bodies collided and nothing stopped them from now. 

**  
When Bucky and Sam slept in the same bed this time nothing was uncomfortable. They had easily slipped in the same position as last time – Bucky pressed against Sams back with an arm around his waist and his face buried in Sams neck – and stayed like that. It felt natural and Bucky seemed to like it. If Sam had to guess, he would say that it made him feel like he could protect the person in his arms like this better. He smiled at the thought. 

“Can I tell you something?”  
“Hm?” Buckys half-asleep muffling made Sam grin.  
“You’ve been asking me about Riley in the beginning of the trip.”  
He felt Bucky stiffen. “You didn’t seem to want to talk about it then, so I didn’t feel like I should push.”  
“You were probably right. But things have changed.”  
“Yeah...I’ve noticed.” The curve of a smile formed against Sams neck.  
“Riley was my wingman”, he began abruptly. “More than that, he was my partner – he was my boyfriend. We met during our training and spent a lot of time together from then on. Eventually, we...uh”, he said and cleared his throat, “became more.”  
He turned around a bit to look Bucky in the face. If the story made him jealous, he didn’t let it show.  
“We had a great time, but on a regular mission he...he was shot out of the sky. And I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t do anything. It was like I was just up there to watch.”  
He noticed that the words were exactly what he said to Steve about it. But suddenly he experienced a surprise: Tears had welled up in his eyes. He hadn’t cried for Riley in a really long time. Sam couldn’t even remember the last time he had cried at all.  
“I’m sorry”, Bucky whispered and carefully wiped the tears out of Sams face, but they didn’t stop falling down. “It’s alright. You couldn’t have done anything to change that and how hard that sounds you have to let him have his peace.”  
“I know”, Sam said shakily, shocked by his sudden hit of emotion. “I feel like I’ve always rather shook it off instead of facing it.”  
“I know what it’s like. I have killed a countless amount of people. Some of them I knew – some of them were my _friends_. And I know that it wasn’t me who did it but I still think I could have done better. I could have been stronger, shake their influence off. Control myself in some way. People always look for someone to blame and often that person is themselves.” He paused for a bit, then said: “You have to stop blaming yourself, Sam. You didn’t kill him.”  
“I know. But I don’t feel like it changes anything at all.”  
“It will. Someday. You will find something that keeps you from thinking these things. Maybe not at first, but love always conquers hate and guilt.”

Sam could have kissed him again, if the angle wasn’t completely wrong. Instead he glanced over at the rising sun he could see through the window and then back at Bucky. Bucky, who was so beautiful and so full of surprises. Bucky who ate all his food and then bought him a cake, Bucky who peeled his peaches and Bucky who tried so hard to save him. And for a split second he thought that he could. He _could_ save him. Because he tried. They could save each other.  
So all he said, whispered to the morning sun as a promise and a dare, was: “I think I already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind, English isn't my first language :) Kudos and comments are appreciated very much.


End file.
